A Little About Me & Sum!

Hey guys/ gals! I am a 24 year old mom of a 2 year old son, with a daughter due in April 2021. Yes, our very own pandemic baby! 🤣 You can consider me a ambivert, just depends on the situation or mood I am in. I love sunflowers, the color purple and yellow. I love to watch Grey's Anatomy, The Good Doctor, The Resident, basically all doctor drama series and Power. Current series I am getting into is, The Umbrella Academy. I love writing, I have been told to start a blog before, so here's a start. I love talking about mental health, because I myself suffer from Depression and Anxiety + I believe there are more that I have not been treated or properly diagnosed with.

So, after having my son, December of 2019, I started realizing I really do not know much about myself anymore or I grew out of the person I use to be and did not realize until then. Being that after graduating high school back in 2014, I attended college and was not able to finish or had any desires to return due to a traumatic event that took place shortly after arrival. I decided to return home to live at home and just work until I figured out my next move. The following year, they put me out right after my 19th birthday with no real explanation besides assuming that I was giving my then boyfriend money and not them. I will spare details in between because there is A LOT I can tell you! But lets just say, family will use you until they cannot anymore and soon as you tell them, you don't have this or that, true colors start to show. They will take you for every penny you have, and soon as you need help, they are nowhere to be found and will make up lies to make it seem like you are the problem, when you are not. The last 5 years have been HELL and I truly mean it. Having to experience homelessness at a young age, multiple times because of greedy family, different types of abuse, control and manipulation for 24 years and not realizing your own mother could do such things. But being blessed with a child two years ago, really opened my eyes to so much. I was not in a good mental or emotional state or financial position to even bare a child, I was home 4 months from active duty Army, when I found out I was pregnant. Only God knew what he was getting ready to do for me, in that moment. I knew then I could not give up on myself now or EVER because I not only had myself to take care of but soon a child. It hasn't been easy, but it has been lessons learned along the way. I will tell you this, before and after having my child, I was scared. I constantly asked myself, "What if I don't know how to love him right? What if I hurt him in the ways my own parents have hurt me?" then I had to come to a realization, I AM NOT MY PARENTS! I AM NOT MY MOTHER! I AM ME! I WILL BE THE BEST MOTHER I CAN BE!" and so far I have been doing my best, despite of the hardships and bumps in the road. This year, after my own parents gave me a ultimatum to either pay rent for 2 months or leave, with nowhere to go or a car, trying to tend to my sick child for months and still make sure I make it to work and can pay for child care expenses, etc. whether I was eating or not, I became homeless for a third time because how can you expect someone to pay your bills + their own and tend to a child? It's unreasonable, but through all the bullshit I have encountered, I believe this year has been shitty, I'm sure we all can agree to that, in some form or fashion. 😂 Even though I have barely kept my head above water with a lot of things, I appreciate the lessons I learned this year and I am claiming 2021 to be MY YEAR! I am coming for everything I have been wanting for the last 5 years, I manifest and I believe the sun is getting ready to shine so bright in my life that I might not believe it to be true when it happens.

Thank you 2020 for showing up and showing your ass! 2021 SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, I'M READY TO SHOW YOU WHAT I GOT NOW!